I actually wrote this 2 weeks ago, but this is the first real chance I have had to post it, so sorry this is late.
Dear Fred
Last night you properly smiled at me for the first time and I thought my heart would explode. It wasn’t one of your windy smiles, this was a dedicated “Daddy’s home!” smile, more with your eyes than the curvature of your mouth, though you did have you tongue out and your lips were in a smile position. But your eyes, that’s what made it special.
You’re fast growing up, 5 weeks old and you’re trying to stand! I’m pretty sure you should try and crawl first, but no you know you can stand and you’re trying very hard to do so. You are fast becoming your own little character, and I think you have your mum and I already well trained.
At the weekend you did your first social engagements, a wedding which you slept through, your first party, which you cried throughout, and then you met all of the family on Sunday. Great-Grandma was a tad bony for you, but Grandma was more than ample in sending you to sleep, as well as Grumps and I discussing your future No 8 status. He is adamant that you will be an England No 8, I think you will be in green. I think we can both agree you’ll be in the Lions.
Now I have been trying to interpret your increasing number of random noises that you make, and slowly I’m building a fault analysis for you. This is so at 2am I can try and work out what you want (you haven’t yet quite got baby signing, but you are learning). This diagram shows my current working out.
For those in the real world who maybe reading this, I am not a doctor, and this is based off of my personal (limited) experience, and is very much a work in progress. Please, please, please, follow your common sense and if you have any doubts regarding the health of your baby, contact the professionals. However, this may offer some insights and I have detailed some other observations below.
Separate to the above are some other random reasons for babies crying
1. Cholic – usually a very screamy wail, this is a chronic pain and is horrible. If baby has this, it may be a case of grin and bear it, which is horrible. Contact your GP and seek out support if it persists. Cry-Sis offer phone support for parents who need it
2. Growth Spurts – Random baby crying, that may not have a cause could easily be a growth spurt. They may require feeding a lot more often and may well be very clingy.
3. Because they want to... And they don’t comprehend that you may need sleep at some point. The only thing I can suggest is support each other. Take it in turns to have baby and allow the other parent to sleep for a couple of hours. Yes it hurts in the morning, but its better that both parents get 2 hours sleep each than neither of them.
Don’t panic, and if possible do not go randomly googling stuff. Find websites you trust (NHS or NCT for example offer great advice for parents and has the backing of research and clinical evidence), otherwise you can easily convince yourself that your baby has raving Looney space rabies
And remember, you are not alone. There are other parents, first timers and those with other kids, who are going through the same things you are. Seek out groups local to you, get out of the house and mix, take baby along it will do all of you the world of good. People forget that we are social creatures and raising kids used to be very communal. We are naturally wired this way and by having a support network (especially Dads who can sometimes feel very forgotten/left out) you and your children will be more stable, supported and above all happier.
So what have I learnt in the last few weeks?
1. Music has played a big part of your development. Having played songs to you in the womb it really helps to calm you down and helps you settle
2. Like your dad, you hate the heat. The last weeks have been horrendous for us both, but I have not minded when you cry. Just wait till I show you proper weather and your first snowball fight
3. You handle long journeys really well, and we made sure you were well fed and watered and not sitting down too long. I think all of those plane flights you took while in the womb helped.
4. I think you are working to your own development schedule. As I said early, you are trying to walk already, but Mum and Dad are being very sensible and ensuring that you don’t overdo it. I do think some nice crawling first though eh lad.
5. I’m disappointed the BBC didn’t cover your birth as well as they’ve covered someone elses, and to be fair you’re the better looking baby.
6. I’m a very very proud Dad.
Right, time to see if you will settle down, or do I need to start singing to you again?
Love you loads
Dad
Fab as always
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